Elementary School Counselor
Mrs. Carper - 3rd-5th Grade Counselor
A little bit about me.
I have been a school counselor in Elkins since 1989 and those years sure have flown by. I graduated from the University of Arkansas with a Bachelor of Science degree in Elementary Education in 1987 and finished my Masters of Education degree in School Counseling in 1991. I am married and have a daughter in college.
We stay busy with outdoor activities such as gardening, hiking, and camping. We have three cats that call our house home and a few others who wander in and out to visit. Friends and family are important to us and we try to visit as often as possible.
I have been in the Elkins Public Schools for many years now and see the great community that Elkins continues to be. It is so wonderful to see children now going through school that are the 2nd generation of the children I first had contact with in the early years. So I now get to see grandparents, parents, and children together as families at school events showing what is so very important...family and school. Elkins is a fantastic community that cares for each other!
Bucket Fillers- We Love Happiness!
WE LOVE TO BE BUCKET FILLERS!!
To encourage the demonstration of respect, we want to talk about what it means to be a Bucket Filler or a Bucket Dipper. These terms are found in the book Have You Filled A Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud. Each of us has an invisible bucket, which represents the good feelings we have about ourselves. Bucket Fillers are people who demonstrate positive character traits such as respect and kindness and fill our invisible buckets. Bucket Dippers are those who steal our good feelings with mean words and actions, sometimes without even meaning to do so.
*Song:Click here for Bucket Fillers
Grief and Children
Loosing loved ones in our lives whether they are family, friends, pets, or someone we have a great connection to is very hard for everyone included. This loss can come from death, separation, illness, trauma, or divorce. As adults we don't know what to do to help out our children going through the process and want to make things "all better".
As adults, how we respond to a hurting child can make the difference in how the child processes his grief and moves forward. We can't make the pain all go away, but there are things we can do to help him go through the process in a healthy way. A way in which a child feels supported and loved while dealing with the loss.
Here are some websites and ideas to help us help our children.
*Arkansas Children's Hospital- The Mourning News: An electronic newsletter with ideas, resources and tips for helping children and families cope with loss and grief.
* The Children's Room: caring support for grieving children, teens, and families
* The Center for Grieving Children: is a center in Portland, Maine- where families find hope and love- good resources here:
Tips:
As a parent, one of the most difficult things you may have to face is how to help your child grieve. Whether it is from the death of a beloved pet, a friend or a family member, children may not be emotionally or mentally equipped to properly grieve. As an adult you know how truly painful that anguish is that your child is feeling. Here are a few tips that can help you assist your child in dealing with this pain.
Listen and be prepared to take the appropriate time to answer any and all questions. Through listening, you can help your child comprehend the death better.
Talk honestly to your child about death. Don’t make up stories in hopes of alleviating his or her pain. The truth will help your child determine what is real and what is not true. Tips for talking about death and grieving can be found at many online sites as well.
Help your child express their deep feelings about the death. In addition, you need to take these feelings seriously to help them cope.
Your entire family may be grieving as well, so it is important to make sure that your child is included in the process. Don’t send them away to a friend’s house or to a babysitter, as this will not allow them to properly grieve with other family members. It may also cause feelings of isolation.
Finally, give your child plenty of love and affection so they will feel secure when dealing with his or her grief.
Activities:
If you have a child or children that are going through the grieving process over the death of a loved one, you may be looking for different ways to help them deal with the process. Some children may think that they need to completely forget about the death in order to get over the loss. However, helping your child understand the death will actually help in the long run. You can help your child through the grieving process by engaging them in activities that can assist in helping them understand and move through the process.
Here are some ideas for activities that can help your child. You can also find additional tips at many online sites for more help.
Artwork
Children can visualize their pain by creating art. Have your child draw or paint something that explains their pain. This can be a simple drawing or a complex collage. After finishing the artwork, have your child share the picture and explain what it symbolizes. This will open up a dialog about how your child is feeling.
Sharing Stories
Read stories about loss together. Your child can start to identify with characters who are grieving. This will again start a discussion about grieving because you can have your child explain how he or she feels compared to the story characters.
Music
Have your child choose music or songs and have him or her discuss how it represents the loss. Have him talk about why these songs have meaning to him. Your child should be allowed to make a connection to the music so he will have a connection and understanding of the loss.